I didn’t get the smoldering memo…
When I was about 14 years old my brother found a gay magazine that I had hidden in my room. I can’t remember what it was, nothing pornographic or anything, but nonetheless a gay magazine. He was obviously confused by it and probably upset so he gave it to my parents. That evening my parents confronted me on it and I had no other choice but to come out. There was a lot of screaming, yelling, and crying coming from all sides and eventually I was sent to my room, grounded, and told I wasn’t to hang out with my friends at school because they felt they were possibly influencing me to be gay.
That night I felt more abandoned and alone than I had or have ever since felt in my entire life. I didn’t have a cell phone or anything at the time so I couldn’t call or text any friends to talk about this with and so that became the one single night in my entire existence I ever contemplated suicide. Thankfully I didn’t go through with anything so drastic and decided to go on with my life exactly as I was already going, with or without the support of my family.
I only grew stronger after that experience and later that year came out more officially to all my friends as well as stopped attempting to hide anything from my school at large. By the time I graduated high school I felt strong enough to finally tell my parents that I was still and am forever going to be a gay man, and that if they couldn’t accept it they didn’t have to be part of my life. They grew to accept me more and more for who I am and eventually even helped me to come out to more and more of my extended family. By the time I graduated college I demanded that my boyfriend at the time join us for my family celebration of my degree. Since then it has been wonderful to see and feel the support from my family for me and gay people in general, including the gay rights journey that the country has been continuing to go through since then.
Things are so different now, even in that short time span since I was dealing with coming out, and I’m glad for the progress our society has gone through, but we must still remember how hard it has been for those in the past as well as how personal each individual’s journey with finding and accepting themselves can be. For a lot of people coming out is still a very difficult thing to do, even in today’s generally more accepting social climate. I am so thankful to have that moment behind me and grateful to have developed a supportive environment in which I can be and love whoever I choose. I only wish that for everybody and anybody else who still needs to take that step in telling the world, “I am gay.”
OH HEY DJ Mag, SO YOU LIKE TO #RHONDAVOUS?
IF SEARCHING THROUGH YOUR NEWSSTAND FOR THINGS TO DOWNLOAD, CHECK OUT DJ MAG USA’S CURRENT ISSUE FOR A LIL PIECE ON ME AND MY MONUMENTAL NIGHT WITH James Murphy.
ALSO VIEWABLE ONLINE HERE, PAGE 32: http://bit.ly/1a5zoj5
Check her out in DJ Mag.
Boldly going where no bitch has gone before…
Throwback Thursday: Double datin’ w/ DJ Harvey on the lido deck of the SS Coachella.
#ThrowbackThursday This pic Alexis Penney took back in 2011 became the cover of both his book and album coming out soon. You can pre-order the book as well as purchase a limited edition framed & signed print of this photo through his publisher: http://peradam.info/presale.html
Throwback Thursday to May, 2011 when I posed with my favorite thing…my bed, ha! For Daniel Franzese’s project with photographer Tommy Agriodimas.
Maybe I should just move into The Standard, Hollywood this summer, just left on Tuesday and will be back to host the Modern Love | LA PRIDE Weekend | SAM SPARRO | Nicole of NINA SKY Pride party next Sunday!